Sunday, November 1, 2009

Spandex: An Unwanted View From The Dark Side.

I am revisiting a subject that I thought had been said and done in the 80's and 90's. I can remember back then being in the gym, working out and seeing people wearing spandex in every hue of the rainbow. Many of those people had no business in anything that tight and revealing. It was unsettling and I was uncomfortable for them. Why, not one kind soul, a friend, a parent, any loved one, did not gently guide them away from this unsightly trend, I will never understand.

It is apparent that spandex has entered the realm of every day wear. It is not limited to the gym or working out as it once was. It is in the supermarkets, the malls and nightclubs. I am not sure whether this trend grew naturally out of the gym wear back then, or whether it has taken on an unnatural life of it's own. For the good of mankind it must be stopped. We must all do our parts to end this blight on society.

This is a not so gentle reminder to all. I know I should not have to say it, it should be common sense, but here it is: SPANDEX IS NOT A RIGHT, IT IS A PRIVILEGE. I said it back then, and sadly, and with much regret I must say it again today.

I was walking into Lowe's food store yesterday and exiting directly in front of me was a middle aged woman (age not being a factor here in any form), dressed in pale grey spandex capri's and a midriff t-shirt. I am all for self love. I am all for positive body image. I am all for accepting yourself just as you are. I must say, from the bottom of my heart and with compassion and love, I am not, all for spandex for everyone. There was physical terrain, uncharted, somewhat bizarre, and definitely over exposed in those capri's. My head pulled back of it's own accord in a bit of shock and avoidance, and I quickened my step into the store.

There are some things in life, that need not be put on display for all to see. I (or any other unsuspecting soul), should not have to desperately attempt to avert my eyes to keep an unwanted image from being burned permanently into my retinas.

In the spirit of good will, and wanting to help in an area that obviously still needs work, here are a few rules of thumb that may work for the spandex impaired: If there are lumps and bumps where they were never intended to be on human anatomy, or greatly disproportionate body parts being displayed, reconsider the outfit. If wearing the garment becomes more of a true test of the durability of the fabric, reconsider the outfit. If it appears that people are averting their eyes, or attempting to hide a shocked expression, or in some unspecified discomfort, you may want to reconsider the outfit.

Last but not least, repeat after me; the mirror is my friend, the mirror is my friend, the mirror is my friend. While there are many times I may feel the mirror is my enemy, it always tells the truth. It is a sad fact of life that husbands, boyfriends, wives, girlfriends, friends and family members will very often lie when asked the all too terrifying question, "How do I look?". They may lie out of fear of the possible reaction, or out of some sort of misguided attempt at kindness. Whether viewed as a friend or an enemy, the mirror never lies. Use it, believe it, respect it's truth.

We must band together to help put an end to this unwanted view from the dark side. Work with me people here. Lets look in our own closets and be honest with ourselves. Let's be as kind as possible but truthful when asked, "How do I look?". And most important of all, before a spandex purchase ask yourself; Have I earned this privilege?

I will end this here, hoping that it is taken in the spirit in which it was intended. I will not enter into low cut jeans, muffin top territory, I will leave that for another time, another self help episode.

1 comment:

  1. I think I get it: we "all band together," but just not in Spandex. Funny...and all too true!