Monday, December 21, 2009
The holidays mean so much to so many. This has been a year of many changes, many losses, and many gains. This time of year makes some of those losses so much more poignant. I may miss my Mom every day, but at this time of year she is forever on my mind. How much I would like to have her here, to celebrate with the grandchildren she never got to meet. How much she would have enjoyed my girly girl daughter, when she got stuck with me, a free spirit, who hates dresses etc.. How she would have gotten a kick out of my verbal gerbil son, with his free spirit and stubborn nature. She would see me in male form. I truly believe she hand picked these children for me. My daughter is a treasure, gifted academically and musically and so much my heart. My son is the child of my soul, like me, yet different. I joke with my kids that Grandma April and God both have a very good sense of humor for picking these two souls as my children. I do believe she had a hand in it. I think luck is just too naive an explanation. So at this Holiday Season, I want to thank my Mom for many things. For making me so independent, for being a better Mom then she ever realized, for loving me despite my flaws, and for sending me the family I always wanted. I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful Mother and God is lucky to have her among the Angels. He owes me for that though.
I am grateful for the gifts I have been given and continue to receive. I am grateful for the hardships to grow and learn from. I am grateful that I was given the chance to love and be loved intensely, even if it was just for a few years. I always said that I would rather have a few years of amazing then a lifetime of so-so. I got what I asked for. Most of all, I am grateful this ride is not over yet, and that there is still more to come. More joys and sorrows, more of this gift called life. I plan to use it well while I am here. I hope you all do too. Happy Holidays to everyone.